chapter 12 "i lay on my straw, but i could not sleep.i thought of the occurrences of the day. what chiefly struckme was the gentle manners of these people, and i longed to join them,but dared not. i remembered too well the treatment i had sufferedthe night before from the barbarous villagers, and resolved, whatevercourse of conduct i might hereafter think it right to pursue,that for the present i would remain quietly in my hovel, watching and endeavouringto discover the motives which influenced their actions.
"the cottagers arose the next morning beforethe sun. the young woman arranged the cottage and prepared the food,and the youth departed after the first meal. "this day was passed in the same routine asthat which preceded it. the young man was constantly employed outof doors, and the girl in various laborious occupations within. theold man, whom i soon perceived to be blind, employed his leisurehours on his instrument or in contemplation. nothing could exceed thelove and respect which the younger cottagers exhibited towards theirvenerable companion. they
performed towards him every little officeof affection and duty with gentleness, and he rewarded them by his benevolentsmiles. "they were not entirely happy. the young manand his companion often went apart and appeared to weep. i saw nocause for their unhappiness, but i was deeply affected by it. if such lovelycreatures were miserable, it was less strange that i, animperfect and solitary being, should be wretched. yet why were these gentlebeings unhappy? they possessed a delightful house (for such itwas in my eyes) and every luxury; they had a fire to warm them whenchill and delicious viands
when hungry; they were dressed in excellentclothes; and, still more, they enjoyed one another's company and speech,interchanging each day looks of affection and kindness. what didtheir tears imply? did they really express pain? i was at first unableto solve these questions, but perpetual attention and time explainedto me many appearances which were at first enigmatic. "a considerable period elapsed before i discoveredone of the causes of the uneasiness of this amiable family: itwas poverty, and they suffered that evil in a very distressing degree.their nourishment
consisted entirely of the vegetables of theirgarden and the milk of one cow, which gave very little during thewinter, when its masters could scarcely procure food to support it.they often, i believe, suffered the pangs of hunger very poignantly,especially the two younger cottagers, for several times theyplaced food before the old man when they reserved none for themselves. "this trait of kindness moved me sensibly.i had been accustomed, during the night, to steal a part of theirstore for my own consumption, but when i found that in doingthis i inflicted pain on
the cottagers, i abstained and satisfied myselfwith berries, nuts, and roots which i gathered from a neighbouringwood. "i discovered also another means through whichi was enabled to assist their labours. i found that the youth spenta great part of each day in collecting wood for the family fire, andduring the night i often took his tools, the use of which i quicklydiscovered, and brought home firing sufficient for the consumption of severaldays. "i remember, the first time that i did this,the young woman, when she opened the door in the morning, appeared greatlyastonished on seeing a
great pile of wood on the outside. she utteredsome words in a loud voice, and the youth joined her, who alsoexpressed surprise. i observed, with pleasure, that he did not goto the forest that day, but spent it in repairing the cottage and cultivatingthe garden. "by degrees i made a discovery of still greatermoment. i found that these people possessed a method of communicatingtheir experience and feelings to one another by articulate sounds.i perceived that the words they spoke sometimes produced pleasureor pain, smiles or sadness, in the minds and countenances ofthe hearers. this was indeed
a godlike science, and i ardently desiredto become acquainted with it. but i was baffled in every attempt i madefor this purpose. their pronunciation was quick, and the words theyuttered, not having any apparent connection with visible objects,i was unable to discover any clue by which i could unravel the mysteryof their reference. by great application, however, and after having remainedduring the space of several revolutions of the moon in my hovel,i discovered the names that were given to some of the most familiarobjects of discourse; i learned and applied the words, 'fire,' 'milk,''bread,' and 'wood.' i
learned also the names of the cottagers themselves.the youth and his companion had each of them several names,but the old man had only one, which was 'father.' the girl was called 'sister'or 'agatha,' and the youth 'felix,' 'brother,' or 'son.' i cannotdescribe the delight i felt when i learned the ideas appropriatedto each of these sounds and was able to pronounce them. i distinguishedseveral other words without being able as yet to understand orapply them, such as 'good,' 'dearest,' 'unhappy.' "i spent the winter in this manner. the gentlemanners and beauty of
the cottagers greatly endeared them to me;when they were unhappy, i felt depressed; when they rejoiced, i sympathizedin their joys. i saw few human beings besides them, and if anyother happened to enter the cottage, their harsh manners and rude gaitonly enhanced to me the superior accomplishments of my friends. theold man, i could perceive, often endeavoured to encourage his children,as sometimes i found that he called them, to cast off their melancholy.he would talk in a cheerful accent, with an expression of goodnessthat bestowed pleasure even upon me. agatha listened with respect,her eyes sometimes filled
with tears, which she endeavoured to wipeaway unperceived; but i generally found that her countenance and tonewere more cheerful after having listened to the exhortations of herfather. it was not thus with felix. he was always the saddest of thegroup, and even to my unpractised senses, he appeared to have sufferedmore deeply than his friends. but if his countenance was more sorrowful,his voice was more cheerful than that of his sister, especiallywhen he addressed the old man. "i could mention innumerable instances which,although slight, marked
the dispositions of these amiable cottagers.in the midst of poverty and want, felix carried with pleasure to hissister the first little white flower that peeped out from beneaththe snowy ground. early in the morning, before she had risen, he clearedaway the snow that obstructed her path to the milk—house, drewwater from the well, and brought the wood from the outhouse, where,to his perpetual astonishment, he found his store always replenishedby an invisible hand. in the day, i believe, he worked sometimesfor a neighbouring farmer, because he often went forth and didnot return until dinner,
yet brought no wood with him. at other timeshe worked in the garden, but as there was little to do in the frostyseason, he read to the old man and agatha. "this reading had puzzled me extremely atfirst, but by degrees i discovered that he uttered many of the samesounds when he read as when he talked. i conjectured, therefore, thathe found on the paper signs for speech which he understood, and i ardentlylonged to comprehend these also; but how was that possible wheni did not even understand the sounds for which they stood as signs?i improved, however,
sensibly in this science, but not sufficientlyto follow up any kind of conversation, although i applied my wholemind to the endeavour, for i easily perceived that, although i eagerlylonged to discover myself to the cottagers, i ought not to make the attemptuntil i had first become master of their language, which knowledgemight enable me to make them overlook the deformity of my figure, for withthis also the contrast perpetually presented to my eyes had mademe acquainted. "i had admired the perfect forms of my cottagers——theirgrace, beauty, and delicate complexions; but how was i terrifiedwhen i viewed myself
in a transparent pool! at first i startedback, unable to believe that it was indeed i who was reflected in the mirror;and when i became fully convinced that i was in reality themonster that i am, i was filled with the bitterest sensations of despondenceand mortification. alas! i did not yet entirely know the fataleffects of this miserable deformity. "as the sun became warmer and the light ofday longer, the snow vanished, and i beheld the bare trees andthe black earth. from this time felix was more employed, and the heart—movingindications of
impending famine disappeared. their food,as i afterwards found, was coarse, but it was wholesome; and they procureda sufficiency of it. several new kinds of plants sprang up in thegarden, which they dressed; and these signs of comfort increaseddaily as the season advanced. "the old man, leaning on his son, walked eachday at noon, when it did not rain, as i found it was called when theheavens poured forth its waters. this frequently took place, but ahigh wind quickly dried the earth, and the season became far more pleasantthan it had been.
"my mode of life in my hovel was uniform.during the morning i attended the motions of the cottagers, andwhen they were dispersed in various occupations, i slept; the remainderof the day was spent in observing my friends. when they had retiredto rest, if there was any moon or the night was star—light, i wentinto the woods and collected my own food and fuel for the cottage. wheni returned, as often as it was necessary, i cleared their path from thesnow and performed those offices that i had seen done by felix. i afterwardsfound that these labours, performed by an invisible hand, greatlyastonished them; and
once or twice i heard them, on these occasions,utter the words 'good spirit,' 'wonderful'; but i did not then understandthe signification of these terms. "my thoughts now became more active, and ilonged to discover the motives and feelings of these lovely creatures;i was inquisitive to know why felix appeared so miserable and agathaso sad. i thought (foolish wretch!) that it might be in my powerto restore happiness to these deserving people. when i slept or wasabsent, the forms of the venerable blind father, the gentle agatha,and the excellent felix
flitted before me. i looked upon them as superiorbeings who would be the arbiters of my future destiny. i formedin my imagination a thousand pictures of presenting myself tothem, and their reception of me. i imagined that they would be disgusted,until, by my gentle demeanour and conciliating words, i shouldfirst win their favour and afterwards their love. "these thoughts exhilarated me and led meto apply with fresh ardour to the acquiring the art of language. my organswere indeed harsh, but supple; and although my voice was very unlikethe soft music of their
tones, yet i pronounced such words as i understoodwith tolerable ease. it was as the ass and the lap—dog; yet surelythe gentle ass whose intentions were affectionate, although hismanners were rude, deserved better treatment than blows and execration. "the pleasant showers and genial warmth ofspring greatly altered the aspect of the earth. men who before this changeseemed to have been hid in caves dispersed themselves and wereemployed in various arts of cultivation. the birds sang in more cheerfulnotes, and the leaves began to bud forth on the trees. happy, happyearth! fit habitation
for gods, which, so short a time before, wasbleak, damp, and unwholesome. my spirits were elevated by theenchanting appearance of nature; the past was blotted from my memory,the present was tranquil, and the future gilded by bright rays of hopeand anticipations of joy." chapter 13 "i now hasten to the more moving part of mystory. i shall relate events that impressed me with feelings which,from what i had been, have made me what i am. "spring advanced rapidly; the weather becamefine and the skies
cloudless. it surprised me that what beforewas desert and gloomy should now bloom with the most beautiful flowersand verdure. my senses were gratified and refreshed by a thousandscents of delight and a thousand sights of beauty. "it was on one of these days, when my cottagersperiodically rested from labour——the old man played on hisguitar, and the children listened to him——that i observed the countenanceof felix was melancholy beyond expression; he sighed frequently,and once his father paused in his music, and i conjectured byhis manner that he inquired
the cause of his son's sorrow. felix repliedin a cheerful accent, and the old man was recommencing his music whensomeone tapped at the door. "it was a lady on horseback, accompanied bya country—man as a guide. the lady was dressed in a dark suit and coveredwith a thick black veil. agatha asked a question, to which thestranger only replied by pronouncing, in a sweet accent, the name offelix. her voice was musical but unlike that of either of my friends.on hearing this word, felix came up hastily to the lady, who, whenshe saw him, threw up her veil, and i beheld a countenance of angelicbeauty and expression. her
hair of a shining raven black, and curiouslybraided; her eyes were dark, but gentle, although animated; her featuresof a regular proportion, and her complexion wondrouslyfair, each cheek tinged with a lovely pink. "felix seemed ravished with delight when hesaw her, every trait of sorrow vanished from his face, and it instantlyexpressed a degree of ecstatic joy, of which i could hardly havebelieved it capable; his eyes sparkled, as his cheek flushed with pleasure;and at that moment i thought him as beautiful as the stranger.she appeared affected by
different feelings; wiping a few tears fromher lovely eyes, she held out her hand to felix, who kissed it rapturouslyand called her, as well as i could distinguish, his sweet arabian.she did not appear to understand him, but smiled. he assisted herto dismount, and dismissing her guide, conducted her into thecottage. some conversation took place between him and hisfather, and the young stranger knelt at the old man's feet and wouldhave kissed his hand, but he raised her and embraced her affectionately. "i soon perceived that although the strangeruttered articulate sounds
and appeared to have a language of her own,she was neither understood by nor herself understood the cottagers. theymade many signs which i did not comprehend, but i saw that her presencediffused gladness through the cottage, dispelling their sorrowas the sun dissipates the morning mists. felix seemed peculiarly happyand with smiles of delight welcomed his arabian. agatha, theever—gentle agatha, kissed the hands of the lovely stranger, and pointingto her brother, made signs which appeared to me to mean that hehad been sorrowful until she came. some hours passed thus, while they,by their countenances,
expressed joy, the cause of which i did notcomprehend. presently i found, by the frequent recurrence of somesound which the stranger repeated after them, that she was endeavouringto learn their language; and the idea instantly occurred to me thati should make use of the same instructions to the same end. the strangerlearned about twenty words at the first lesson; most of them, indeed,were those which i had before understood, but i profited by the others. "as night came on, agatha and the arabianretired early. when they separated felix kissed the hand of the strangerand said, 'good night
sweet safie.' he sat up much longer, conversingwith his father, and by the frequent repetition of her name i conjecturedthat their lovely guest was the subject of their conversation.i ardently desired to understand them, and bent every faculty towardsthat purpose, but found it utterly impossible. "the next morning felix went out to his work,and after the usual occupations of agatha were finished, the arabiansat at the feet of the old man, and taking his guitar, played someairs so entrancingly beautiful that they at once drew tears ofsorrow and delight from my
eyes. she sang, and her voice flowed in arich cadence, swelling or dying away like a nightingale of the woods. "when she had finished, she gave the guitarto agatha, who at first declined it. she played a simple air, andher voice accompanied it in sweet accents, but unlike the wondrous strainof the stranger. the old man appeared enraptured and said some wordswhich agatha endeavoured to explain to safie, and by which he appearedto wish to express that she bestowed on him the greatest delight by hermusic. "the days now passed as peaceably as before,with the sole alteration
that joy had taken place of sadness in thecountenances of my friends. safie was always gay and happy; she and iimproved rapidly in the knowledge of language, so that in two monthsi began to comprehend most of the words uttered by my protectors. "in the meanwhile also the black ground wascovered with herbage, and the green banks interspersed with innumerableflowers, sweet to the scent and the eyes, stars of pale radianceamong the moonlight woods; the sun became warmer, the nights clear andbalmy; and my nocturnal rambles were an extreme pleasure to me, althoughthey were considerably
shortened by the late setting and early risingof the sun, for i never ventured abroad during daylight, fearful ofmeeting with the same treatment i had formerly endured in the firstvillage which i entered. "my days were spent in close attention, thati might more speedily master the language; and i may boast thati improved more rapidly than the arabian, who understood very little andconversed in broken accents, whilst i comprehended and could imitatealmost every word that was spoken. "while i improved in speech, i also learnedthe science of letters as
it was taught to the stranger, and this openedbefore me a wide field for wonder and delight. "the book from which felix instructed safiewas volney's ruins of empires. i should not have understood thepurport of this book had not felix, in reading it, given very minute explanations.he had chosen this work, he said, because the declamatorystyle was framed in imitation of the eastern authors. throughthis work i obtained a cursory knowledge of history and a view ofthe several empires at present existing in the world; it gave mean insight into the manners,
governments, and religions of the differentnations of the earth. i heard of the slothful asiatics, of the stupendousgenius and mental activity of the grecians, of the wars andwonderful virtue of the early romans——of their subsequent degenerating——ofthe decline of that mighty empire, of chivalry, christianity, and kings.i heard of the discovery of the american hemisphere and wept with safieover the hapless fate of its original inhabitants. "these wonderful narrations inspired me withstrange feelings. was man, indeed, at once so powerful, so virtuousand magnificent, yet so
vicious and base? he appeared at one timea mere scion of the evil principle and at another as all that can beconceived of noble and godlike. to be a great and virtuous man appearedthe highest honour that can befall a sensitive being; to be baseand vicious, as many on record have been, appeared the lowest degradation,a condition more abject than that of the blind mole or harmlessworm. for a long time i could not conceive how one man could go forthto murder his fellow, or even why there were laws and governments;but when i heard details of vice and bloodshed, my wonder ceased and iturned away with disgust and
loathing. "every conversation of the cottagers now openednew wonders to me. while i listened to the instructions whichfelix bestowed upon the arabian, the strange system of human societywas explained to me. i heard of the division of property, of immensewealth and squalid poverty, of rank, descent, and noble blood. "the words induced me to turn towards myself.i learned that the possessions most esteemed by your fellow creatureswere high and unsullied descent united with riches. a manmight be respected with
only one of these advantages, but withouteither he was considered, except in very rare instances, as a vagabondand a slave, doomed to waste his powers for the profits of the chosenfew! and what was i? of my creation and creator i was absolutely ignorant,but i knew that i possessed no money, no friends, no kind ofproperty. i was, besides, endued with a figure hideously deformed andloathsome; i was not even of the same nature as man. i was more agilethan they and could subsist upon coarser diet; i bore the extremesof heat and cold with less injury to my frame; my stature far exceededtheirs. when i looked
around i saw and heard of none like me. wasi, then, a monster, a blot upon the earth, from which all men fled andwhom all men disowned? "i cannot describe to you the agony that thesereflections inflicted upon me; i tried to dispel them, but sorrowonly increased with knowledge. oh, that i had forever remainedin my native wood, nor known nor felt beyond the sensations of hunger,thirst, and heat! "of what a strange nature is knowledge! itclings to the mind when it has once seized on it like a lichen on therock. i wished sometimes to shake off all thought and feeling, but i learnedthat there was but one
means to overcome the sensation of pain, andthat was death——a state which i feared yet did not understand. i admiredvirtue and good feelings and loved the gentle manners andamiable qualities of my cottagers, but i was shut out from intercoursewith them, except through means which i obtained by stealth,when i was unseen and unknown, and which rather increased than satisfiedthe desire i had of becoming one among my fellows. the gentlewords of agatha and the animated smiles of the charming arabian werenot for me. the mild exhortations of the old man and the livelyconversation of the loved
felix were not for me. miserable, unhappywretch! "other lessons were impressed upon me evenmore deeply. i heard of the difference of sexes, and the birth and growthof children, how the father doted on the smiles of the infant,and the lively sallies of the older child, how all the life and cares ofthe mother were wrapped up in the precious charge, how the mind of youthexpanded and gained knowledge, of brother, sister, and all thevarious relationships which bind one human being to another in mutualbonds. "but where were my friends and relations?no father had watched my
infant days, no mother had blessed me withsmiles and caresses; or if they had, all my past life was now a blot,a blind vacancy in which i distinguished nothing. from my earliest remembrancei had been as i then was in height and proportion. i had neveryet seen a being resembling me or who claimed any intercoursewith me. what was i? the question again recurred, to be answered onlywith groans. "i will soon explain to what these feelingstended, but allow me now to return to the cottagers, whose story excitedin me such various feelings of indignation, delight, and wonder,but which all terminated
in additional love and reverence for my protectors(for so i loved, in an innocent, half—painful self—deceit,to call them)." chapter 14 "some time elapsed before i learned the historyof my friends. it was one which could not fail to impress itselfdeeply on my mind, unfolding as it did a number of circumstances, eachinteresting and wonderful to one so utterly inexperienced as i was. "the name of the old man was de lacey. hewas descended from a good family in france, where he had lived for manyyears in affluence,
respected by his superiors and beloved byhis equals. his son was bred in the service of his country, and agathahad ranked with ladies of the highest distinction. a few months before myarrival they had lived in a large and luxurious city called paris, surroundedby friends and possessed of every enjoyment which virtue,refinement of intellect, or taste, accompanied by a moderate fortune,could afford. "the father of safie had been the cause oftheir ruin. he was a turkish merchant and had inhabited paris formany years, when, for some reason which i could not learn, he becameobnoxious to the government.
he was seized and cast into prison the veryday that safie arrived from constantinople to join him. he was tried andcondemned to death. the injustice of his sentence was very flagrant;all paris was indignant; and it was judged that his religion and wealthrather than the crime alleged against him had been the cause ofhis condemnation. "felix had accidentally been present at thetrial; his horror and indignation were uncontrollable when he heardthe decision of the court. he made, at that moment, a solemn vowto deliver him and then looked around for the means. after many fruitlessattempts to gain
admittance to the prison, he found a stronglygrated window in an unguarded part of the building, which lightedthe dungeon of the unfortunate muhammadan, who, loaded with chains,waited in despair the execution of the barbarous sentence. felixvisited the grate at night and made known to the prisoner his intentionsin his favour. the turk, amazed and delighted, endeavoured to kindlethe zeal of his deliverer by promises of reward and wealth. felix rejectedhis offers with contempt, yet when he saw the lovely safie,who was allowed to visit her father and who by her gestures expressedher lively gratitude, the
youth could not help owning to his own mindthat the captive possessed a treasure which would fully reward his toiland hazard. "the turk quickly perceived the impressionthat his daughter had made on the heart of felix and endeavoured to securehim more entirely in his interests by the promise of her hand inmarriage so soon as he should be conveyed to a place of safety. felixwas too delicate to accept this offer, yet he looked forward tothe probability of the event as to the consummation of his happiness. "during the ensuing days, while the preparationswere going forward for
the escape of the merchant, the zeal of felixwas warmed by several letters that he received from this lovelygirl, who found means to express her thoughts in the language of herlover by the aid of an old man, a servant of her father who understoodfrench. she thanked him in the most ardent terms for his intended servicestowards her parent, and at the same time she gently deplored her ownfate. "i have copies of these letters, for i foundmeans, during my residence in the hovel, to procure the implements ofwriting; and the letters were often in the hands of felix or agatha.before i depart i will
give them to you; they will prove the truthof my tale; but at present, as the sun is already far declined, i shallonly have time to repeat the substance of them to you. "safie related that her mother was a christianarab, seized and made a slave by the turks; recommended by her beauty,she had won the heart of the father of safie, who married her. theyoung girl spoke in high and enthusiastic terms of her mother, who, bornin freedom, spurned the bondage to which she was now reduced. sheinstructed her daughter in the tenets of her religion and taught herto aspire to higher powers of
intellect and an independence of spirit forbiddento the female followers of muhammad. this lady died, buther lessons were indelibly impressed on the mind of safie, who sickenedat the prospect of again returning to asia and being immured withinthe walls of a harem, allowed only to occupy herself with infantileamusements, ill—suited to the temper of her soul, now accustomed togrand ideas and a noble emulation for virtue. the prospect of marryinga christian and remaining in a country where women were allowedto take a rank in society was enchanting to her.
"the day for the execution of the turk wasfixed, but on the night previous to it he quitted his prison and beforemorning was distant many leagues from paris. felix had procuredpassports in the name of his father, sister, and himself. he had previouslycommunicated his plan to the former, who aided the deceit byquitting his house, under the pretence of a journey and concealed himself,with his daughter, in an obscure part of paris. "felix conducted the fugitives through franceto lyons and across mont cenis to leghorn, where the merchant had decidedto wait a favourable
opportunity of passing into some part of theturkish dominions. "safie resolved to remain with her fatheruntil the moment of his departure, before which time the turk renewedhis promise that she should be united to his deliverer; and felixremained with them in expectation of that event; and in the meantimehe enjoyed the society of the arabian, who exhibited towards himthe simplest and tenderest affection. they conversed with one anotherthrough the means of an interpreter, and sometimes with the interpretationof looks; and safie sang to him the divine airs of her nativecountry.
"the turk allowed this intimacy to take placeand encouraged the hopes of the youthful lovers, while in his hearthe had formed far other plans. he loathed the idea that his daughtershould be united to a christian, but he feared the resentment offelix if he should appear lukewarm, for he knew that he was still inthe power of his deliverer if he should choose to betray him to the italianstate which they inhabited. he revolved a thousand plans bywhich he should be enabled to prolong the deceit until it might be nolonger necessary, and secretly to take his daughter with him whenhe departed. his plans
were facilitated by the news which arrivedfrom paris. "the government of france were greatly enragedat the escape of their victim and spared no pains to detect and punishhis deliverer. the plot of felix was quickly discovered, andde lacey and agatha were thrown into prison. the news reached felixand roused him from his dream of pleasure. his blind and aged fatherand his gentle sister lay in a noisome dungeon while he enjoyed thefree air and the society of her whom he loved. this idea was torture tohim. he quickly arranged with the turk that if the latter should finda favourable opportunity
for escape before felix could return to italy,safie should remain as a boarder at a convent at leghorn; and then,quitting the lovely arabian, he hastened to paris and delivered himselfup to the vengeance of the law, hoping to free de lacey and agatha bythis proceeding. "he did not succeed. they remained confinedfor five months before the trial took place, the result of which deprivedthem of their fortune and condemned them to a perpetual exile fromtheir native country. "they found a miserable asylum in the cottagein germany, where i discovered them. felix soon learned that thetreacherous turk, for
whom he and his family endured such unheard—ofoppression, on discovering that his deliverer was thus reducedto poverty and ruin, became a traitor to good feeling and honourand had quitted italy with his daughter, insultingly sending felix apittance of money to aid him, as he said, in some plan of future maintenance. "such were the events that preyed on the heartof felix and rendered him, when i first saw him, the most miserableof his family. he could have endured poverty, and while this distresshad been the meed of his virtue, he gloried in it; but the ingratitudeof the turk and the loss
of his beloved safie were misfortunes morebitter and irreparable. the arrival of the arabian now infused new lifeinto his soul. "when the news reached leghorn that felixwas deprived of his wealth and rank, the merchant commanded his daughterto think no more of her lover, but to prepare to return to her nativecountry. the generous nature of safie was outraged by this command;she attempted to expostulate with her father, but he left herangrily, reiterating his tyrannical mandate. "a few days after, the turk entered his daughter'sapartment and told
her hastily that he had reason to believethat his residence at leghorn had been divulged and that he should speedilybe delivered up to the french government; he had consequently hireda vessel to convey him to constantinople, for which city he should sailin a few hours. he intended to leave his daughter under the careof a confidential servant, to follow at her leisure with thegreater part of his property, which had not yet arrived at leghorn. "when alone, safie resolved in her own mindthe plan of conduct that it would become her to pursue in this emergency.a residence in turkey
was abhorrent to her; her religion and herfeelings were alike averse to it. by some papers of her father whichfell into her hands she heard of the exile of her lover and learntthe name of the spot where he then resided. she hesitated some time,but at length she formed her determination. taking with her some jewelsthat belonged to her and a sum of money, she quitted italy with an attendant,a native of leghorn, but who understood the common language ofturkey, and departed for germany. "she arrived in safety at a town about twentyleagues from the cottage
of de lacey, when her attendant fell dangerouslyill. safie nursed her with the most devoted affection, but the poorgirl died, and the arabian was left alone, unacquainted withthe language of the country and utterly ignorant of the customs of theworld. she fell, however, into good hands. the italian had mentionedthe name of the spot for which they were bound, and after her deaththe woman of the house in which they had lived took care that safieshould arrive in safety at the cottage of her lover." chapter 15
"such was the history of my beloved cottagers.it impressed me deeply. i learned, from the views of social life whichit developed, to admire their virtues and to deprecate the vices ofmankind. "as yet i looked upon crime as a distant evil,benevolence and generosity were ever present before me, incitingwithin me a desire to become an actor in the busy scene where somany admirable qualities were called forth and displayed. but in givingan account of the progress of my intellect, i must not omita circumstance which occurred in the beginning of the month of august ofthe same year.
"one night during my accustomed visit to theneighbouring wood where i collected my own food and brought home firingfor my protectors, i found on the ground a leathern portmanteaucontaining several articles of dress and some books. i eagerly seizedthe prize and returned with it to my hovel. fortunately the books werewritten in the language, the elements of which i had acquired at thecottage; they consisted of paradise lost, a volume of plutarch's lives,and the sorrows of werter. the possession of these treasures gave meextreme delight; i now continually studied and exercised my mindupon these histories, whilst
my friends were employed in their ordinaryoccupations. "i can hardly describe to you the effect ofthese books. they produced in me an infinity of new images and feelings,that sometimes raised me to ecstasy, but more frequently sunk me intothe lowest dejection. in the sorrows of werter, besides the interestof its simple and affecting story, so many opinions are canvassed andso many lights thrown upon what had hitherto been to me obscure subjectsthat i found in it a never—ending source of speculation and astonishment.the gentle and domestic manners it described, combined withlofty sentiments and
feelings, which had for their object somethingout of self, accorded well with my experience among my protectorsand with the wants which were forever alive in my own bosom. but ithought werter himself a more divine being than i had ever beheld orimagined; his character contained no pretension, but it sank deep.the disquisitions upon death and suicide were calculated to fillme with wonder. i did not pretend to enter into the merits of the case,yet i inclined towards the opinions of the hero, whose extinctioni wept, without precisely understanding it.
"as i read, however, i applied much personallyto my own feelings and condition. i found myself similar yet at thesame time strangely unlike to the beings concerning whom i readand to whose conversation i was a listener. i sympathized with and partlyunderstood them, but i was unformed in mind; i was dependent on noneand related to none. 'the path of my departure was free,' and therewas none to lament my annihilation. my person was hideous and mystature gigantic. what did this mean? who was i? what was i? whence didi come? what was my destination? these questions continually recurred,but i was unable to
solve them. "the volume of plutarch's lives which i possessedcontained the histories of the first founders of the ancientrepublics. this book had a far different effect upon me from thesorrows of werter. i learned from werter's imaginations despondencyand gloom, but plutarch taught me high thoughts; he elevated me abovethe wretched sphere of my own reflections, to admire and love the heroesof past ages. many things i read surpassed my understanding andexperience. i had a very confused knowledge of kingdoms, wide extentsof country, mighty rivers,
and boundless seas. but i was perfectly unacquaintedwith towns and large assemblages of men. the cottage of myprotectors had been the only school in which i had studied human nature,but this book developed new and mightier scenes of action.i read of men concerned in public affairs, governing or massacringtheir species. i felt the greatest ardour for virtue rise within me,and abhorrence for vice, as far as i understood the signification of thoseterms, relative as they were, as i applied them, to pleasure and painalone. induced by these feelings, i was of course led to admire peaceablelawgivers, numa,
solon, and lycurgus, in preference to romulusand theseus. the patriarchal lives of my protectors causedthese impressions to take a firm hold on my mind; perhaps, if my firstintroduction to humanity had been made by a young soldier, burning forglory and slaughter, i should have been imbued with different sensations. "but paradise lost excited different and fardeeper emotions. i read it, as i had read the other volumes whichhad fallen into my hands, as a true history. it moved every feeling ofwonder and awe that the picture of an omnipotent god warring withhis creatures was capable of
exciting. i often referred the several situations,as their similarity struck me, to my own. like adam, i was apparentlyunited by no link to any other being in existence; but his statewas far different from mine in every other respect. he had come forthfrom the hands of god a perfect creature, happy and prosperous, guardedby the especial care of his creator; he was allowed to converse withand acquire knowledge from beings of a superior nature, but i was wretched,helpless, and alone. many times i considered satan as the fitteremblem of my condition, for often, like him, when i viewed the bliss ofmy protectors, the bitter
gall of envy rose within me. "another circumstance strengthened and confirmedthese feelings. soon after my arrival in the hovel i discoveredsome papers in the pocket of the dress which i had taken from your laboratory.at first i had neglected them, but now that i was able todecipher the characters in which they were written, i began to studythem with diligence. it was your journal of the four months that precededmy creation. you minutely described in these papers every stepyou took in the progress of your work; this history was mingled withaccounts of domestic
occurrences. you doubtless recollect thesepapers. here they are. everything is related in them which bearsreference to my accursed origin; the whole detail of that series ofdisgusting circumstances which produced it is set in view; the minutestdescription of my odious and loathsome person is given, in languagewhich painted your own horrors and rendered mine indelible. i sickenedas i read. 'hateful day when i received life!' i exclaimed inagony. 'accursed creator! why did you form a monster so hideous thateven you turned from me in disgust? god, in pity, made man beautifuland alluring, after his own
image; but my form is a filthy type of yours,more horrid even from the very resemblance. satan had his companions,fellow devils, to admire and encourage him, but i am solitary and abhorred.' "these were the reflections of my hours ofdespondency and solitude; but when i contemplated the virtues of thecottagers, their amiable and benevolent dispositions, i persuaded myselfthat when they should become acquainted with my admiration of theirvirtues they would compassionate me and overlook my personaldeformity. could they turn from their door one, however monstrous, whosolicited their compassion
and friendship? i resolved, at least, notto despair, but in every way to fit myself for an interview with them whichwould decide my fate. i postponed this attempt for some months longer,for the importance attached to its success inspired me with adread lest i should fail. besides, i found that my understanding improvedso much with every day's experience that i was unwilling to commencethis undertaking until a few more months should have addedto my sagacity. "several changes, in the meantime, took placein the cottage. the presence of safie diffused happiness amongits inhabitants, and i also
found that a greater degree of plenty reignedthere. felix and agatha spent more time in amusement and conversation,and were assisted in their labours by servants. they did not appearrich, but they were contented and happy; their feelings were sereneand peaceful, while mine became every day more tumultuous. increaseof knowledge only discovered to me more clearly what a wretchedoutcast i was. i cherished hope, it is true, but it vanishedwhen i beheld my person reflected in water or my shadow in the moonshine,even as that frail image and that inconstant shade.
"i endeavoured to crush these fears and tofortify myself for the trial which in a few months i resolved to undergo;and sometimes i allowed my thoughts, unchecked by reason, to ramble inthe fields of paradise, and dared to fancy amiable and lovely creaturessympathizing with my feelings and cheering my gloom; their angeliccountenances breathed smiles of consolation. but it was all a dream;no eve soothed my sorrows nor shared my thoughts; i was alone.i remembered adam's supplication to his creator. but where wasmine? he had abandoned me, and in the bitterness of my heart i cursedhim.
"autumn passed thus. i saw, with surpriseand grief, the leaves decay and fall, and nature again assume the barrenand bleak appearance it had worn when i first beheld the woods andthe lovely moon. yet i did not heed the bleakness of the weather; i wasbetter fitted by my conformation for the endurance of cold thanheat. but my chief delights were the sight of the flowers, thebirds, and all the gay apparel of summer; when those deserted me,i turned with more attention towards the cottagers. their happiness wasnot decreased by the absence of summer. they loved and sympathizedwith one another; and
their joys, depending on each other, werenot interrupted by the casualties that took place around them. themore i saw of them, the greater became my desire to claim their protectionand kindness; my heart yearned to be known and loved by theseamiable creatures; to see their sweet looks directed towards me withaffection was the utmost limit of my ambition. i dared not think thatthey would turn them from me with disdain and horror. the poor thatstopped at their door were never driven away. i asked, it is true, forgreater treasures than a little food or rest: i required kindness andsympathy; but i did not
believe myself utterly unworthy of it. "the winter advanced, and an entire revolutionof the seasons had taken place since i awoke into life. my attentionat this time was solely directed towards my plan of introducing myselfinto the cottage of my protectors. i revolved many projects, butthat on which i finally fixed was to enter the dwelling when the blindold man should be alone. i had sagacity enough to discover that theunnatural hideousness of my person was the chief object of horror withthose who had formerly beheld me. my voice, although harsh, had nothingterrible in it; i
thought, therefore, that if in the absenceof his children i could gain the good will and mediation of the old delacey, i might by his means be tolerated by my younger protectors. "one day, when the sun shone on the red leavesthat strewed the ground and diffused cheerfulness, although it deniedwarmth, safie, agatha, and felix departed on a long country walk,and the old man, at his own desire, was left alone in the cottage. whenhis children had departed, he took up his guitar and played several mournfulbut sweet airs, more sweet and mournful than i had ever heard himplay before. at first his
countenance was illuminated with pleasure,but as he continued, thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length,laying aside the instrument, he sat absorbed in reflection. "my heart beat quick; this was the hour andmoment of trial, which would decide my hopes or realize my fears.the servants were gone to a neighbouring fair. all was silent in and aroundthe cottage; it was an excellent opportunity; yet, when i proceededto execute my plan, my limbs failed me and i sank to the ground.again i rose, and exerting all the firmness of which i was master, removedthe planks which i had
placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat.the fresh air revived me, and with renewed determination i approachedthe door of their cottage. "i knocked. 'who is there?' said the old man.'come in.' "i entered. 'pardon this intrusion,' saidi; 'i am a traveller in want of a little rest; you would greatly obligeme if you would allow me to remain a few minutes before the fire.' "'enter,' said de lacey, 'and i will try inwhat manner i can to relieve your wants; but, unfortunately, mychildren are from home, and
as i am blind, i am afraid i shall find itdifficult to procure food for you.' "'do not trouble yourself, my kind host; ihave food; it is warmth and rest only that i need.' "i sat down, and a silence ensued. i knewthat every minute was precious to me, yet i remained irresolutein what manner to commence the interview, when the old man addressedme. 'by your language, stranger, i suppose you are my countryman;are you french?' "'no; but i was educated by a french familyand understand that
language only. i am now going to claim theprotection of some friends, whom i sincerely love, and of whose favouri have some hopes.' "'are they germans?' "'no, they are french. but let us change thesubject. i am an unfortunate and deserted creature, i lookaround and i have no relation or friend upon earth. these amiable peopleto whom i go have never seen me and know little of me. i am full offears, for if i fail there, i am an outcast in the world forever.' "'do not despair. to be friendless is indeedto be unfortunate, but
the hearts of men, when unprejudiced by anyobvious self—interest, are full of brotherly love and charity. rely,therefore, on your hopes; and if these friends are good and amiable,do not despair.' "'they are kind——they are the most excellentcreatures in the world; but, unfortunately, they are prejudiced againstme. i have good dispositions; my life has been hitherto harmlessand in some degree beneficial; but a fatal prejudice clouds theireyes, and where they ought to see a feeling and kind friend, theybehold only a detestable monster.'
"'that is indeed unfortunate; but if you arereally blameless, cannot you undeceive them?' "'i am about to undertake that task; and itis on that account that i feel so many overwhelming terrors. i tenderlylove these friends; i have, unknown to them, been for many monthsin the habits of daily kindness towards them; but they believe thati wish to injure them, and it is that prejudice which i wish to overcome.' "'where do these friends reside?' "'near this spot.'
"the old man paused and then continued, 'ifyou will unreservedly confide to me the particulars of your tale,i perhaps may be of use in undeceiving them. i am blind and cannot judgeof your countenance, but there is something in your words which persuadesme that you are sincere. i am poor and an exile, but it willafford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.' "'excellent man! i thank you and accept yourgenerous offer. you raise me from the dust by this kindness; andi trust that, by your aid, i shall not be driven from the society andsympathy of your fellow
creatures.' "'heaven forbid! even if you were really criminal,for that can only drive you to desperation, and not instigateyou to virtue. i also am unfortunate; i and my family have been condemned,although innocent; judge, therefore, if i do not feel for yourmisfortunes.' "'how can i thank you, my best and only benefactor?from your lips first have i heard the voice of kindness directedtowards me; i shall be forever grateful; and your present humanityassures me of success with those friends whom i am on the pointof meeting.'
"'may i know the names and residence of thosefriends?' "i paused. this, i thought, was the momentof decision, which was to rob me of or bestow happiness on me forever.i struggled vainly for firmness sufficient to answer him, but theeffort destroyed all my remaining strength; i sank on the chair andsobbed aloud. at that moment i heard the steps of my younger protectors.i had not a moment to lose, but seizing the hand of the old man,i cried, 'now is the time! save and protect me! you and your familyare the friends whom i seek. do not you desert me in the hour oftrial!'
"'great god!' exclaimed the old man. 'whoare you?' "at that instant the cottage door was opened,and felix, safie, and agatha entered. who can describe their horrorand consternation on beholding me? agatha fainted, and safie, unableto attend to her friend, rushed out of the cottage. felix dartedforward, and with supernatural force tore me from his father,to whose knees i clung, in a transport of fury, he dashed me to the groundand struck me violently with a stick. i could have torn him limb fromlimb, as the lion rends the antelope. but my heart sank within meas with bitter sickness, and
i refrained. i saw him on the point of repeatinghis blow, when, overcome by pain and anguish, i quitted thecottage, and in the general tumult escaped unperceived to my hovel." chapter 16 "cursed, cursed creator! why did i live? why,in that instant, did i not extinguish the spark of existence whichyou had so wantonly bestowed? i know not; despair had not yettaken possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge. icould with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its inhabitantsand have glutted myself with
their shrieks and misery. "when night came i quitted my retreat andwandered in the wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery,i gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings. i was like awild beast that had broken the toils, destroying the objects that obstructedme and ranging through the wood with a stag—like swiftness.oh! what a miserable night i passed! the cold stars shone in mockery,and the bare trees waved their branches above me; now and thenthe sweet voice of a bird burst forth amidst the universal stillness.all, save i, were at rest
or in enjoyment; i, like the arch—fiend,bore a hell within me, and finding myself unsympathized with, wishedto tear up the trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and thento have sat down and enjoyed the ruin. "but this was a luxury of sensation that couldnot endure; i became fatigued with excess of bodily exertion andsank on the damp grass in the sick impotence of despair. there was noneamong the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist me;and should i feel kindness towards my enemies? no; from that moment ideclared everlasting war
against the species, and more than all, againsthim who had formed me and sent me forth to this insupportable misery. "the sun rose; i heard the voices of men andknew that it was impossible to return to my retreat duringthat day. accordingly i hid myself in some thick underwood, determiningto devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation. "the pleasant sunshine and the pure air ofday restored me to some degree of tranquillity; and when i consideredwhat had passed at the cottage, i could not help believing that ihad been too hasty in my
conclusions. i had certainly acted imprudently.it was apparent that my conversation had interested the fatherin my behalf, and i was a fool in having exposed my person to the horrorof his children. i ought to have familiarized the old de laceyto me, and by degrees to have discovered myself to the rest of hisfamily, when they should have been prepared for my approach. but i did notbelieve my errors to be irretrievable, and after much considerationi resolved to return to the cottage, seek the old man, and by my representationswin him to my party.
"these thoughts calmed me, and in the afternooni sank into a profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allowme to be visited by peaceful dreams. the horrible scene of thepreceding day was forever acting before my eyes; the females were flyingand the enraged felix tearing me from his father's feet. i awokeexhausted, and finding that it was already night, i crept forth from myhiding—place, and went in search of food. "when my hunger was appeased, i directed mysteps towards the well—known path that conducted to the cottage.all there was at peace.
i crept into my hovel and remained in silentexpectation of the accustomed hour when the family arose. thathour passed, the sun mounted high in the heavens, but the cottagersdid not appear. i trembled violently, apprehending some dreadfulmisfortune. the inside of the cottage was dark, and i heard no motion;i cannot describe the agony of this suspense. "presently two countrymen passed by, but pausingnear the cottage, they entered into conversation, using violent gesticulations;but i did not understand what they said, as they spoke thelanguage of the country,
which differed from that of my protectors.soon after, however, felix approached with another man; i was surprised,as i knew that he had not quitted the cottage that morning, and waitedanxiously to discover from his discourse the meaning of these unusualappearances. "'do you consider,' said his companion tohim, 'that you will be obliged to pay three months' rent and to losethe produce of your garden? i do not wish to take any unfair advantage,and i beg therefore that you will take some days toconsider of your determination.'
"'it is utterly useless,' replied felix; 'wecan never again inhabit your cottage. the life of my father is inthe greatest danger, owing to the dreadful circumstance that i have related.my wife and my sister will never recover from their horror.i entreat you not to reason with me any more. take possession ofyour tenement and let me fly from this place.' "felix trembled violently as he said this.he and his companion entered the cottage, in which they remainedfor a few minutes, and then departed. i never saw any of the family ofde lacey more.
"i continued for the remainder of the dayin my hovel in a state of utter and stupid despair. my protectors haddeparted and had broken the only link that held me to the world. forthe first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my bosom,and i did not strive to control them, but allowing myself to be borneaway by the stream, i bent my mind towards injury and death. wheni thought of my friends, of the mild voice of de lacey, the gentleeyes of agatha, and the exquisite beauty of the arabian, these thoughtsvanished and a gush of tears somewhat soothed me. but again wheni reflected that they had
spurned and deserted me, anger returned, arage of anger, and unable to injure anything human, i turned my fury towardsinanimate objects. as night advanced i placed a variety of combustiblesaround the cottage, and after having destroyed every vestige ofcultivation in the garden, i waited with forced impatience until themoon had sunk to commence my operations. "as the night advanced, a fierce wind arosefrom the woods and quickly dispersed the clouds that had loitered inthe heavens; the blast tore along like a mighty avalanche and produceda kind of insanity in my
spirits that burst all bounds of reason andreflection. i lighted the dry branch of a tree and danced with furyaround the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on the western horizon,the edge of which the moon nearly touched. a part of its orb was at lengthhid, and i waved my brand; it sank, and with a loud scream i firedthe straw, and heath, and bushes, which i had collected. the windfanned the fire, and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames,which clung to it and licked it with their forked and destroyingtongues. "as soon as i was convinced that no assistancecould save any part of
the habitation, i quitted the scene and soughtfor refuge in the woods. "and now, with the world before me, whithershould i bend my steps? i resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes;but to me, hated and despised, every country must be equallyhorrible. at length the thought of you crossed my mind. i learnedfrom your papers that you were my father, my creator; and to whom couldi apply with more fitness than to him who had given me life? among thelessons that felix had bestowed upon safie, geography had not beenomitted; i had learned from these the relative situations of the differentcountries of the earth.
you had mentioned geneva as the name of yournative town, and towards this place i resolved to proceed. "but how was i to direct myself? i knew thati must travel in a southwesterly direction to reach my destination,but the sun was my only guide. i did not know the names of thetowns that i was to pass through, nor could i ask information froma single human being; but i did not despair. from you only could i hopefor succour, although towards you i felt no sentiment but that ofhatred. unfeeling, heartless creator! you had endowed me withperceptions and passions
and then cast me abroad an object for thescorn and horror of mankind. but on you only had i any claim for pity andredress, and from you i determined to seek that justice which i vainlyattempted to gain from any other being that wore the human form. "my travels were long and the sufferings iendured intense. it was late in autumn when i quitted the districtwhere i had so long resided. i travelled only at night, fearful of encounteringthe visage of a human being. nature decayed around me, andthe sun became heatless; rain and snow poured around me; mighty riverswere frozen; the surface
of the earth was hard and chill, and bare,and i found no shelter. oh, earth! how often did i imprecate curses onthe cause of my being! the mildness of my nature had fled, and all withinme was turned to gall and bitterness. the nearer i approached toyour habitation, the more deeply did i feel the spirit of revenge enkindledin my heart. snow fell, and the waters were hardened, but irested not. a few incidents now and then directed me, and i possesseda map of the country; but i often wandered wide from my path. the agonyof my feelings allowed me no respite; no incident occurred from whichmy rage and misery could
not extract its food; but a circumstance thathappened when i arrived on the confines of switzerland, when the sunhad recovered its warmth and the earth again began to look green, confirmedin an especial manner the bitterness and horror of my feelings. "i generally rested during the day and travelledonly when i was secured by night from the view of man. onemorning, however, finding that my path lay through a deep wood, i venturedto continue my journey after the sun had risen; the day, which wasone of the first of spring, cheered even me by the loveliness of its sunshineand the balminess of
the air. i felt emotions of gentleness andpleasure, that had long appeared dead, revive within me. half surprisedby the novelty of these sensations, i allowed myself to be borneaway by them, and forgetting my solitude and deformity, daredto be happy. soft tears again bedewed my cheeks, and i even raisedmy humid eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun, whichbestowed such joy upon me. "i continued to wind among the paths of thewood, until i came to its boundary, which was skirted by a deep andrapid river, into which many of the trees bent their branches, now buddingwith the fresh spring.
here i paused, not exactly knowing what pathto pursue, when i heard the sound of voices, that induced me to concealmyself under the shade of a cypress. i was scarcely hid when a younggirl came running towards the spot where i was concealed, laughing,as if she ran from someone in sport. she continued her coursealong the precipitous sides of the river, when suddenly her foot slipped,and she fell into the rapid stream. i rushed from my hiding—placeand with extreme labour, from the force of the current, saved her anddragged her to shore. she was senseless, and i endeavoured by everymeans in my power to restore
animation, when i was suddenly interruptedby the approach of a rustic, who was probably the person from whom shehad playfully fled. on seeing me, he darted towards me, and tearingthe girl from my arms, hastened towards the deeper parts of the wood.i followed speedily, i hardly knew why; but when the man saw me drawnear, he aimed a gun, which he carried, at my body and fired. isank to the ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escapedinto the wood. "this was then the reward of my benevolence!i had saved a human being from destruction, and as a recompense i nowwrithed under the miserable
pain of a wound which shattered the fleshand bone. the feelings of kindness and gentleness which i had entertainedbut a few moments before gave place to hellish rage and gnashingof teeth. inflamed by pain, i vowed eternal hatred and vengeanceto all mankind. but the agony of my wound overcame me; my pulses paused,and i fainted. "for some weeks i led a miserable life inthe woods, endeavouring to cure the wound which i had received. the ballhad entered my shoulder, and i knew not whether it had remained thereor passed through; at any rate i had no means of extracting it. my sufferingswere augmented
also by the oppressive sense of the injusticeand ingratitude of their infliction. my daily vows rose for revenge——adeep and deadly revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outragesand anguish i had endured. "after some weeks my wound healed, and i continuedmy journey. the labours i endured were no longer to be alleviatedby the bright sun or gentle breezes of spring; all joy was buta mockery which insulted my desolate state and made me feel more painfullythat i was not made for the enjoyment of pleasure.
"but my toils now drew near a close, and intwo months from this time i reached the environs of geneva. "it was evening when i arrived, and i retiredto a hiding—place among the fields that surround it to meditate inwhat manner i should apply to you. i was oppressed by fatigue and hungerand far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening or theprospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains of jura. "at this time a slight sleep relieved me fromthe pain of reflection, which was disturbed by the approach of a beautifulchild, who came
running into the recess i had chosen, withall the sportiveness of infancy. suddenly, as i gazed on him, an ideaseized me that this little creature was unprejudiced and had livedtoo short a time to have imbibed a horror of deformity. if, therefore,i could seize him and educate him as my companion and friend, ishould not be so desolate in this peopled earth. "urged by this impulse, i seized on the boyas he passed and drew him towards me. as soon as he beheld my form,he placed his hands before his eyes and uttered a shrill scream; i drewhis hand forcibly from his
face and said, 'child, what is the meaningof this? i do not intend to hurt you; listen to me.' "he struggled violently. 'let me go,' he cried;'monster! ugly wretch! you wish to eat me and tear me topieces. you are an ogre. let me go, or i will tell my papa.' "'boy, you will never see your father again;you must come with me.' "'hideous monster! let me go. my papa is asyndic——he is m. frankenstein——he will punish you. youdare not keep me.' "'frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy——tohim towards whom i have
sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my firstvictim.' "the child still struggled and loaded me withepithets which carried despair to my heart; i grasped his throatto silence him, and in a moment he lay dead at my feet. "i gazed on my victim, and my heart swelledwith exultation and hellish triumph; clapping my hands, i exclaimed, 'itoo can create desolation; my enemy is not invulnerable; this death willcarry despair to him, and a thousand other miseries shall torment anddestroy him.' "as i fixed my eyes on the child, i saw somethingglittering on his
breast. i took it; it was a portrait of amost lovely woman. in spite of my malignity, it softened and attractedme. for a few moments i gazed with delight on her dark eyes, fringedby deep lashes, and her lovely lips; but presently my rage returned;i remembered that i was forever deprived of the delights that suchbeautiful creatures could bestow and that she whose resemblance i contemplatedwould, in regarding me, have changed that air of divinebenignity to one expressive of disgust and affright. "can you wonder that such thoughts transportedme with rage? i only
wonder that at that moment, instead of ventingmy sensations in exclamations and agony, i did not rush amongmankind and perish in the attempt to destroy them. "while i was overcome by these feelings, ileft the spot where i had committed the murder, and seeking a more secludedhiding—place, i entered a barn which had appeared to me tobe empty. a woman was sleeping on some straw; she was young, notindeed so beautiful as her whose portrait i held, but of an agreeableaspect and blooming in the loveliness of youth and health. here, i thought,is one of those whose
joy—imparting smiles are bestowed on allbut me. and then i bent over her and whispered, 'awake, fairest, thy loveris near——he who would give his life but to obtain one look of affectionfrom thine eyes; my beloved, awake!' "the sleeper stirred; a thrill of terror ranthrough me. should she indeed awake, and see me, and curse me, anddenounce the murderer? thus would she assuredly act if her darkened eyesopened and she beheld me. the thought was madness; it stirred the fiendwithin me——not i, but she, shall suffer; the murder i have committedbecause i am forever
robbed of all that she could give me, sheshall atone. the crime had its source in her; be hers the punishment!thanks to the lessons of felix and the sanguinary laws of man, i hadlearned now to work mischief. i bent over her and placed the portraitsecurely in one of the folds of her dress. she moved again, andi fled. "for some days i haunted the spot where thesescenes had taken place, sometimes wishing to see you, sometimes resolvedto quit the world and its miseries forever. at length i wanderedtowards these mountains, and have ranged through their immense recesses,consumed by a burning
passion which you alone can gratify. we maynot part until you have promised to comply with my requisition. iam alone and miserable; man will not associate with me; but one as deformedand horrible as myself would not deny herself to me. my companionmust be of the same species and have the same defects. this being youmust create." chapter 17 the being finished speaking and fixed hislooks upon me in the expectation of a reply. but i was bewildered,perplexed, and unable to arrange my ideas sufficiently to understandthe full extent of his
proposition. he continued, "you must create a female for me with whomi can live in the interchange of those sympathies necessaryfor my being. this you alone can do, and i demand it of you as a rightwhich you must not refuse to concede." the latter part of his tale had kindled anewin me the anger that had died away while he narrated his peaceful lifeamong the cottagers, and as he said this i could no longer suppressthe rage that burned within me.
"i do refuse it," i replied; "and no tortureshall ever extort a consent from me. you may render me the mostmiserable of men, but you shall never make me base in my own eyes. shalli create another like yourself, whose joint wickedness might desolatethe world. begone! i have answered you; you may torture me, buti will never consent." "you are in the wrong," replied the fiend;"and instead of threatening, i am content to reason with you. i am maliciousbecause i am miserable. am i not shunned and hated by allmankind? you, my creator, would tear me to pieces and triumph;remember that, and tell
me why i should pity man more than he pitiesme? you would not call it murder if you could precipitate me into oneof those ice—rifts and destroy my frame, the work of your own hands.shall i respect man when he condemns me? let him live with me in theinterchange of kindness, and instead of injury i would bestow everybenefit upon him with tears of gratitude at his acceptance. but that cannotbe; the human senses are insurmountable barriers to our union.yet mine shall not be the submission of abject slavery. i will revengemy injuries; if i cannot inspire love, i will cause fear, and chieflytowards you my arch—enemy,
because my creator, do i swear inextinguishablehatred. have a care; i will work at your destruction, nor finishuntil i desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth." a fiendish rage animated him as he said this;his face was wrinkled into contortions too horrible for human eyesto behold; but presently he calmed himself and proceeded—— "i intended to reason. this passion is detrimentalto me, for you do not reflect that you are the cause of itsexcess. if any being felt emotions of benevolence towards me, i shouldreturn them a hundred and
a hundredfold; for that one creature's sakei would make peace with the whole kind! but i now indulge in dreams ofbliss that cannot be realized. what i ask of you is reasonableand moderate; i demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous asmyself; the gratification is small, but it is all that i can receive, andit shall content me. it is true, we shall be monsters, cut off fromall the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.our lives will not be happy, but they will be harmless and freefrom the misery i now feel. oh! my creator, make me happy; let mefeel gratitude towards
you for one benefit! let me see that i excitethe sympathy of some existing thing; do not deny me my request!" i was moved. i shuddered when i thought ofthe possible consequences of my consent, but i felt that there was somejustice in his argument. his tale and the feelings he now expressedproved him to be a creature of fine sensations, and did i not as his makerowe him all the portion of happiness that it was in my power to bestow?he saw my change of feeling and continued, "if you consent, neither you nor any otherhuman being shall ever see
us again; i will go to the vast wilds of southamerica. my food is not that of man; i do not destroy the lamb andthe kid to glut my appetite; acorns and berries afford me sufficient nourishment.my companion will be of the same nature as myself and will becontent with the same fare. we shall make our bed of dried leaves; thesun will shine on us as on man and will ripen our food. the picture ipresent to you is peaceful and human, and you must feel that you coulddeny it only in the wantonness of power and cruelty. pitilessas you have been towards me, i now see compassion in your eyes; let meseize the favourable moment
and persuade you to promise what i so ardentlydesire." "you propose," replied i, "to fly from thehabitations of man, to dwell in those wilds where the beasts of the fieldwill be your only companions. how can you, who long for thelove and sympathy of man, persevere in this exile? you will return andagain seek their kindness, and you will meet with their detestation;your evil passions will be renewed, and you will then have acompanion to aid you in the task of destruction. this may not be; ceaseto argue the point, for i cannot consent."
"how inconstant are your feelings! but a momentago you were moved by my representations, and why do you again hardenyourself to my complaints? i swear to you, by the earth whichi inhabit, and by you that made me, that with the companion youbestow i will quit the neighbourhood of man and dwell, as it maychance, in the most savage of places. my evil passions will have fled, fori shall meet with sympathy! my life will flow quietly away,and in my dying moments i shall not curse my maker." his words had a strange effect upon me. icompassionated him and
sometimes felt a wish to console him, butwhen i looked upon him, when i saw the filthy mass that moved and talked,my heart sickened and my feelings were altered to those of horror andhatred. i tried to stifle these sensations; i thought that as i couldnot sympathize with him, i had no right to withhold from him the smallportion of happiness which was yet in my power to bestow. "you swear," i said, "to be harmless; buthave you not already shown a degree of malice that should reasonably makeme distrust you? may not even this be a feint that will increase yourtriumph by affording a
wider scope for your revenge?" "how is this? i must not be trifled with,and i demand an answer. if i have no ties and no affections, hatred andvice must be my portion; the love of another will destroy the causeof my crimes, and i shall become a thing of whose existence everyonewill be ignorant. my vices are the children of a forced solitude thati abhor, and my virtues will necessarily arise when i live in communionwith an equal. i shall feel the affections of a sensitive being and becomelinked to the chain of existence and events from which i am now excluded."
i paused some time to reflect on all he hadrelated and the various arguments which he had employed. i thoughtof the promise of virtues which he had displayed on the opening of hisexistence and the subsequent blight of all kindly feeling bythe loathing and scorn which his protectors had manifested towards him.his power and threats were not omitted in my calculations; a creaturewho could exist in the ice caves of the glaciers and hide himself frompursuit among the ridges of inaccessible precipices was a being possessingfaculties it would be vain to cope with. after a long pause of reflectioni concluded that
the justice due both to him and my fellowcreatures demanded of me that i should comply with his request. turningto him, therefore, i said, "i consent to your demand, on your solemnoath to quit europe forever, and every other place in the neighbourhoodof man, as soon as i shall deliver into your hands a female who willaccompany you in your exile." "i swear," he cried, "by the sun, and by theblue sky of heaven, and by the fire of love that burns my heart, thatif you grant my prayer, while they exist you shall never behold meagain. depart to your home and commence your labours; i shall watch theirprogress with
unutterable anxiety; and fear not but thatwhen you are ready i shall appear." saying this, he suddenly quitted me, fearful,perhaps, of any change in my sentiments. i saw him descend the mountainwith greater speed than the flight of an eagle, and quickly lost amongthe undulations of the sea of ice. his tale had occupied the whole day, and thesun was upon the verge of the horizon when he departed. i knew thati ought to hasten my descent towards the valley, as i should soon be encompassedin darkness; but my
heart was heavy, and my steps slow. the labourof winding among the little paths of the mountain and fixing myfeet firmly as i advanced perplexed me, occupied as i was by the emotionswhich the occurrences of the day had produced. night was far advancedwhen i came to the halfway resting—place and seated myselfbeside the fountain. the stars shone at intervals as the clouds passed fromover them; the dark pines rose before me, and every here and there abroken tree lay on the ground; it was a scene of wonderful solemnityand stirred strange thoughts within me. i wept bitterly, and claspingmy hands in agony, i
exclaimed, "oh! stars and clouds and winds,ye are all about to mock me; if ye really pity me, crush sensationand memory; let me become as nought; but if not, depart, depart, and leaveme in darkness." these were wild and miserable thoughts, buti cannot describe to you how the eternal twinkling of the stars weighedupon me and how i listened to every blast of wind as if it werea dull ugly siroc on its way to consume me. morning dawned before i arrived at the villageof chamounix; i took no rest, but returned immediately to geneva.even in my own heart i could
give no expression to my sensations——theyweighed on me with a mountain's weight and their excess destroyedmy agony beneath them. thus i returned home, and entering the house,presented myself to the family. my haggard and wild appearance awokeintense alarm, but i answered no question, scarcely did i speak.i felt as if i were placed under a ban——as if i had no right to claimtheir sympathies——as if never more might i enjoy companionship withthem. yet even thus i loved them to adoration; and to save them,i resolved to dedicate myself to my most abhorred task. the prospectof such an occupation
made every other circumstance of existencepass before me like a dream, and that thought only had to me the realityof life. chapter 18 day after day, week after week, passed awayon my return to geneva; and i could not collect the courage to recommencemy work. i feared the vengeance of the disappointed fiend, yet iwas unable to overcome my repugnance to the task which was enjoinedme. i found that i could not compose a female without again devoting severalmonths to profound study and laborious disquisition. i had heardof some discoveries
having been made by an english philosopher,the knowledge of which was material to my success, and i sometimes thoughtof obtaining my father's consent to visit england for thispurpose; but i clung to every pretence of delay and shrank from takingthe first step in an undertaking whose immediate necessity beganto appear less absolute to me. a change indeed had taken place in me;my health, which had hitherto declined, was now much restored;and my spirits, when unchecked by the memory of my unhappy promise,rose proportionably. my father saw this change with pleasure, andhe turned his thoughts
towards the best method of eradicating theremains of my melancholy, which every now and then would return by fits,and with a devouring blackness overcast the approaching sunshine.at these moments i took refuge in the most perfect solitude. i passedwhole days on the lake alone in a little boat, watching the cloudsand listening to the rippling of the waves, silent and listless.but the fresh air and bright sun seldom failed to restore me tosome degree of composure, and on my return i met the salutations of my friendswith a readier smile and a more cheerful heart.
it was after my return from one of these ramblesthat my father, calling me aside, thus addressed me, "i am happy to remark, my dear son, that youhave resumed your former pleasures and seem to be returning to yourself.and yet you are still unhappy and still avoid our society. for sometime i was lost in conjecture as to the cause of this, but yesterdayan idea struck me, and if it is well founded, i conjure you toavow it. reserve on such a point would be not only useless, but drawdown treble misery on us all." i trembled violently at his exordium, andmy father continued——"i
confess, my son, that i have always lookedforward to your marriage with our dear elizabeth as the tie of ourdomestic comfort and the stay of my declining years. you were attached toeach other from your earliest infancy; you studied together, andappeared, in dispositions and tastes, entirely suited to one another.but so blind is the experience of man that what i conceived tobe the best assistants to my plan may have entirely destroyed it. you,perhaps, regard her as your sister, without any wish that she might becomeyour wife. nay, you may have met with another whom you may love; andconsidering yourself as
bound in honour to elizabeth, this strugglemay occasion the poignant misery which you appear to feel." "my dear father, reassure yourself. i lovemy cousin tenderly and sincerely. i never saw any woman who excited,as elizabeth does, my warmest admiration and affection. my futurehopes and prospects are entirely bound up in the expectation of ourunion." "the expression of your sentiments of thissubject, my dear victor, gives me more pleasure than i have for sometime experienced. if you feel thus, we shall assuredly be happy, howeverpresent events may cast
a gloom over us. but it is this gloom whichappears to have taken so strong a hold of your mind that i wish todissipate. tell me, therefore, whether you object to an immediatesolemnization of the marriage. we have been unfortunate, and recentevents have drawn us from that everyday tranquillity befittingmy years and infirmities. you are younger; yet i do not suppose, possessedas you are of a competent fortune, that an early marriage would at allinterfere with any future plans of honour and utility that you may haveformed. do not suppose, however, that i wish to dictate happinessto you or that a delay on
your part would cause me any serious uneasiness.interpret my words with candour and answer me, i conjure you,with confidence and sincerity." i listened to my father in silence and remainedfor some time incapable of offering any reply. i revolved rapidlyin my mind a multitude of thoughts and endeavoured to arrive at someconclusion. alas! to me the idea of an immediate union with my elizabethwas one of horror and dismay. i was bound by a solemn promise whichi had not yet fulfilled and dared not break, or if i did, what manifoldmiseries might not
impend over me and my devoted family! couldi enter into a festival with this deadly weight yet hanging roundmy neck and bowing me to the ground? i must perform my engagement and letthe monster depart with his mate before i allowed myself to enjoythe delight of a union from which i expected peace. i remembered also the necessity imposed uponme of either journeying to england or entering into a long correspondencewith those philosophers of that country whose knowledge and discoverieswere of indispensable use to me in my present undertaking. the lattermethod of obtaining
the desired intelligence was dilatory andunsatisfactory; besides, i had an insurmountable aversion to the ideaof engaging myself in my loathsome task in my father's house whilein habits of familiar intercourse with those i loved. i knew thata thousand fearful accidents might occur, the slightest of whichwould disclose a tale to thrill all connected with me with horror.i was aware also that i should often lose all self—command, allcapacity of hiding the harrowing sensations that would possess meduring the progress of my unearthly occupation. i must absent myselffrom all i loved while thus
employed. once commenced, it would quicklybe achieved, and i might be restored to my family in peace and happiness.my promise fulfilled, the monster would depart forever. or (so myfond fancy imaged) some accident might meanwhile occur to destroyhim and put an end to my slavery forever. these feelings dictated my answer to my father.i expressed a wish to visit england, but concealing the true reasonsof this request, i clothed my desires under a guise which excitedno suspicion, while i urged my desire with an earnestness that easilyinduced my father to
comply. after so long a period of an absorbingmelancholy that resembled madness in its intensity and effects,he was glad to find that i was capable of taking pleasure in theidea of such a journey, and he hoped that change of scene and variedamusement would, before my return, have restored me entirely to myself. the duration of my absence was left to myown choice; a few months, or at most a year, was the period contemplated.one paternal kind precaution he had taken to ensure my havinga companion. without previously communicating with me, he had,in concert with elizabeth,
arranged that clerval should join me at strasbourg.this interfered with the solitude i coveted for the prosecutionof my task; yet at the commencement of my journey the presence ofmy friend could in no way be an impediment, and truly i rejoiced that thusi should be saved many hours of lonely, maddening reflection. nay,henry might stand between me and the intrusion of my foe. if i werealone, would he not at times force his abhorred presence on me to remindme of my task or to contemplate its progress? to england, therefore, i was bound, and itwas understood that my union
with elizabeth should take place immediatelyon my return. my father's age rendered him extremely averse to delay.for myself, there was one reward i promised myself from my detestedtoils——one consolation for my unparalleled sufferings; it was the prospectof that day when, enfranchised from my miserable slavery, imight claim elizabeth and forget the past in my union with her. i now made arrangements for my journey, butone feeling haunted me which filled me with fear and agitation. duringmy absence i should leave my friends unconscious of the existenceof their enemy and
unprotected from his attacks, exasperatedas he might be by my departure. but he had promised to follow mewherever i might go, and would he not accompany me to england? thisimagination was dreadful in itself, but soothing inasmuch as it supposedthe safety of my friends. i was agonized with the idea of the possibilitythat the reverse of this might happen. but through the whole periodduring which i was the slave of my creature i allowed myself to begoverned by the impulses of the moment; and my present sensations stronglyintimated that the fiend would follow me and exempt my family fromthe danger of his
machinations. it was in the latter end of september thati again quitted my native country. my journey had been my own suggestion,and elizabeth therefore acquiesced, but she was filled withdisquiet at the idea of my suffering, away from her, the inroads ofmisery and grief. it had been her care which provided me a companionin clerval——and yet a man is blind to a thousand minute circumstanceswhich call forth a woman's sedulous attention. she longed to bid me hastenmy return; a thousand conflicting emotions rendered her mute asshe bade me a tearful, silent
farewell. i threw myself into the carriage that wasto convey me away, hardly knowing whither i was going, and carelessof what was passing around. i remembered only, and it was with a bitteranguish that i reflected on it, to order that my chemical instrumentsshould be packed to go with me. filled with dreary imaginations, i passedthrough many beautiful and majestic scenes, but my eyes were fixedand unobserving. i could only think of the bourne of my travels andthe work which was to occupy me whilst they endured.
after some days spent in listless indolence,during which i traversed many leagues, i arrived at strasbourg, wherei waited two days for clerval. he came. alas, how great was thecontrast between us! he was alive to every new scene, joyful whenhe saw the beauties of the setting sun, and more happy when he beheldit rise and recommence a new day. he pointed out to me the shifting coloursof the landscape and the appearances of the sky. "this is whatit is to live," he cried; "how i enjoy existence! but you, my dear frankenstein,wherefore are you desponding and sorrowful!" in truth, iwas occupied by gloomy
thoughts and neither saw the descent of theevening star nor the golden sunrise reflected in the rhine. and you, myfriend, would be far more amused with the journal of clerval, who observedthe scenery with an eye of feeling and delight, than in listeningto my reflections. i, a miserable wretch, haunted by a curse thatshut up every avenue to enjoyment. we had agreed to descend the rhine in a boatfrom strasbourg to rotterdam, whence we might take shipping forlondon. during this voyage we passed many willowy islands andsaw several beautiful towns.
we stayed a day at mannheim, and on the fifthfrom our departure from strasbourg, arrived at mainz. the course ofthe rhine below mainz becomes much more picturesque. the river descendsrapidly and winds between hills, not high, but steep, and ofbeautiful forms. we saw many ruined castles standing on the edgesof precipices, surrounded by black woods, high and inaccessible. this partof the rhine, indeed, presents a singularly variegated landscape.in one spot you view rugged hills, ruined castles overlooking tremendousprecipices, with the dark rhine rushing beneath; and on thesudden turn of a promontory,
flourishing vineyards with green sloping banksand a meandering river and populous towns occupy the scene. we travelled at the time of the vintage andheard the song of the labourers as we glided down the stream. eveni, depressed in mind, and my spirits continually agitated by gloomyfeelings, even i was pleased. i lay at the bottom of the boat, and as igazed on the cloudless blue sky, i seemed to drink in a tranquillity towhich i had long been a stranger. and if these were my sensations,who can describe those of henry? he felt as if he had been transportedto fairy—land and enjoyed
a happiness seldom tasted by man. "i haveseen," he said, "the most beautiful scenes of my own country; i havevisited the lakes of lucerne and uri, where the snowy mountains descendalmost perpendicularly to the water, casting black and impenetrableshades, which would cause a gloomy and mournful appearance were it notfor the most verdant islands that believe the eye by their gay appearance;i have seen this lake agitated by a tempest, when the wind toreup whirlwinds of water and gave you an idea of what the water—spoutmust be on the great ocean; and the waves dash with fury the base of themountain, where the priest
and his mistress were overwhelmed by an avalancheand where their dying voices are still said to be heard amid thepauses of the nightly wind; i have seen the mountains of la valais, andthe pays de vaud; but this country, victor, pleases me more than allthose wonders. the mountains of switzerland are more majestic and strange,but there is a charm in the banks of this divine river that i neverbefore saw equalled. look at that castle which overhangs yon precipice;and that also on the island, almost concealed amongst the foliageof those lovely trees; and now that group of labourers coming from amongtheir vines; and that
village half hid in the recess of the mountain.oh, surely the spirit that inhabits and guards this place has asoul more in harmony with man than those who pile the glacier or retireto the inaccessible peaks of the mountains of our own country." clerval!beloved friend! even now it delights me to record your words and todwell on the praise of which you are so eminently deserving. he was a beingformed in the "very poetry of nature." his wild and enthusiasticimagination was chastened by the sensibility of his heart. his souloverflowed with ardent affections, and his friendship was of thatdevoted and wondrous nature
that the world—minded teach us to look foronly in the imagination. but even human sympathies were not sufficientto satisfy his eager mind. the scenery of external nature, which othersregard only with admiration, he loved with ardour:—— ————the sounding cataracthaunted him like a passion: the tall rock, the mountain, and the deep and gloomy wood,their colours and their forms, were then to himan appetite; a feeling, and a love, that had no need of a remoter charm,by thought supplied, or any interest unborrow'd from the eye.
[wordsworth's "tintern abbey".] and where does he now exist? is this gentleand lovely being lost forever? has this mind, so replete with ideas,imaginations fanciful and magnificent, which formed a world, whoseexistence depended on the life of its creator;——has this mind perished?does it now only exist in my memory? no, it is not thus; your formso divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty, has decayed, but yourspirit still visits and consoles your unhappy friend. pardon this gush of sorrow; these ineffectualwords are but a slight
tribute to the unexampled worth of henry,but they soothe my heart, overflowing with the anguish which his remembrancecreates. i will proceed with my tale. beyond cologne we descended to the plainsof holland; and we resolved to post the remainder of our way, for thewind was contrary and the stream of the river was too gentle to aidus. our journey here lost the interest arising from beautiful scenery,but we arrived in a few days at rotterdam, whence we proceeded bysea to england. it was on a clear morning, in the latter days of december,that i first saw the
white cliffs of britain. the banks of thethames presented a new scene; they were flat but fertile, and almostevery town was marked by the remembrance of some story. we saw tilburyfort and remembered the spanish armada, gravesend, woolwich, and greenwich——placeswhich i had heard of even in my country. at length we saw the numerous steeples oflondon, st. paul's towering above all, and the tower famed in englishhistory. end of chapter 1�
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